Tuesday, August 08, 2006
The Happy and Worst Day of my life is today, the 8th of August. It is suppose to be the joyous day of my 19years living in this world..but it turn out to be the day when i shed tears of a broken heart. I woke up this morning and told myself that i am 19 already..my last teenage year..and one step to adulthood. I couldnt believe myself..one blink of an eye and i am 19!
I was happy in the morning..i received , a big hug from my mom,sms-es frm friends and cousins wishing me "happy birthday"!
Thanks for remembring my birthday. I went to watch a horror movie with cheryl,adeline and kylie..hmm horror movie on my birthday?..is it a bad thing?!..oh well, the movie wasnt that scary at all..just the sudden blast of sound..and the appearence of the ghost that frightens you..common thing in a horror movie. We took sticker photos too after the movie..and walk around palm square.
The drastic turn of my life happens when i receive an sms frm my friend, telling me that we can ask for our results.i was nervous, dunno what to expect..wondering if i should call or not..or maybe call another day instead. But eventho i desperately don't want to know the results as early as today i told myself that its already there and in the end you still have to face it.
Kylie gave a shot first..enquiring for her results..and it was me.
The institute phone line was busy, i bet many of the x-IS students desperately wants to know their results.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My results..i couldnt believe my ears! i did badly. my other friends did quite well, i expected this to happen..my life has drastically change..the whole world seem to tumble down..my heart was broken into many pieces..my mind was blocked..i was devastated! I couldnt control my emotions..tears just roll down my cheeks. My happy times just washed off..and now all i could think of now is ... what am i capable of...what suites me..where am i goin to go next if this route doesnt work. i am really stunt..
Why did it happen today, why can't it be tomorrow of the next day...why must it be on a day where i should be happy..
i disappoint alot of people..most of all my family, the humiliation that they are going to face..including myself.
I fail to prove myself...fail in so many aspects..I just dont know wat is going to happen next.I dont feel sorry for myself but for my parents eventhough they didnt scold me..eventhough they still sound happy..looking through their faces i can tell the amount of disappointment. i am so terrible.
I just hope that there is a way...maybe this is not my field..but i m very unsure of what i really want to do..why is it so hard to decide. Is my talent usable to the society and can it secure my future..i am very unsure. Luck isnt with me..
right now i cant just sit here and wonder................i have to think deeply...................can someone teach me how?
find out.............what i am capable of....................
I can say that i received a wonderful gift today,..a gift that tells me..to learn frm my mistake and rise up again. Although it is sad but its fated to happen. Congrats to those who did well =)
Thanks Vengli,Aiming,Pan,Sheereen,Fong,Simon and Kel for the surprise..i was really touched!
Life has to carry on untill your last breath.
Happy birthday Felicia.
I was happy in the morning..i received , a big hug from my mom,sms-es frm friends and cousins wishing me "happy birthday"!
Thanks for remembring my birthday. I went to watch a horror movie with cheryl,adeline and kylie..hmm horror movie on my birthday?..is it a bad thing?!..oh well, the movie wasnt that scary at all..just the sudden blast of sound..and the appearence of the ghost that frightens you..common thing in a horror movie. We took sticker photos too after the movie..and walk around palm square.
The drastic turn of my life happens when i receive an sms frm my friend, telling me that we can ask for our results.i was nervous, dunno what to expect..wondering if i should call or not..or maybe call another day instead. But eventho i desperately don't want to know the results as early as today i told myself that its already there and in the end you still have to face it.
Kylie gave a shot first..enquiring for her results..and it was me.
The institute phone line was busy, i bet many of the x-IS students desperately wants to know their results.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My results..i couldnt believe my ears! i did badly. my other friends did quite well, i expected this to happen..my life has drastically change..the whole world seem to tumble down..my heart was broken into many pieces..my mind was blocked..i was devastated! I couldnt control my emotions..tears just roll down my cheeks. My happy times just washed off..and now all i could think of now is ... what am i capable of...what suites me..where am i goin to go next if this route doesnt work. i am really stunt..
Why did it happen today, why can't it be tomorrow of the next day...why must it be on a day where i should be happy..
i disappoint alot of people..most of all my family, the humiliation that they are going to face..including myself.
I fail to prove myself...fail in so many aspects..I just dont know wat is going to happen next.I dont feel sorry for myself but for my parents eventhough they didnt scold me..eventhough they still sound happy..looking through their faces i can tell the amount of disappointment. i am so terrible.
I just hope that there is a way...maybe this is not my field..but i m very unsure of what i really want to do..why is it so hard to decide. Is my talent usable to the society and can it secure my future..i am very unsure. Luck isnt with me..
right now i cant just sit here and wonder................i have to think deeply...................can someone teach me how?
find out.............what i am capable of....................
I can say that i received a wonderful gift today,..a gift that tells me..to learn frm my mistake and rise up again. Although it is sad but its fated to happen. Congrats to those who did well =)
Thanks Vengli,Aiming,Pan,Sheereen,Fong,Simon and Kel for the surprise..i was really touched!
Life has to carry on untill your last breath.
Happy birthday Felicia.
8:37 PM